He had to drop out of school at the age of 14 to support his family. While growing up, he spent many nights without food in his belly. The reason he began fighting in the first place was simple: for money. ‘Just put the gloves there, and tape this time. I don’t know boxing. But after that fight, I got 100 pesos. One hundred pesos. I can buy one kilo of rice for only four pesos. One hundred pesos, big.’
Now he is one of the most famous fighters of this generation and has made money that could get him hundreds of millions of pounds of rice. The “[P]eople’s [C]hamp” from Kibawe, Philippines, is widely recognized as Manny Pacquiao.
History has been dominated by individuals who have risen from life-threatening adversities. From the arts, we have individuals such as Ray Charles, Ludwig Van Beethoven and Rick Allen. For business, think of Steve Jobs, Walt Disney and Ariana Huffington. Athletes such as Lebron James, Cristiano Ronaldo and Manny Pacquiao and authors such as J.K Rowling, Robert Greene and Charles Dickens have all come from incredible hardship. We all have the choice to either do one of two things: roll over and die or take on the challenge.
For most of my life, my actions have been driven by fear. Fear of what society may think or what my parents may think. Fear of being different. Instead of being afraid of what the world may think, I should take it as a challenge. Take all the failure and criticism on the chin and be the most authentic version of myself.
Adversity forces us to confront our fears and take action. Adversity can be the driving force to reach heights that we didn’t think were possible. If Apple didn’t face harsh deadlines, then they wouldn’t produce Iphones, Ipad and MacBooks. If Buster Douglas’s mother hadn’t died, then he might not have beaten Mike Tyson to win the Heavyweight title. At first, adversity will bring us to our knees. But in the words of Rocky, “it ain’t how hard you can get hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done”. Once you’ve made your decision, there’s no turning back.
What exactly is adversity?
According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, adversity is “a state or instance of serious or continued difficulty or misfortune”. Adversities can be as little as daily struggles or as large as a massive tragedy. Adversity affects us dearly because it usually affects one’s perception of oneself. For example, the death of a loved one will affect the part of you which loves that person. If you are struggling to get something done due to an obstacle, it is affecting the reliable and consistent part of your identity.
Even though adversities are usually triggered by external circumstances, adversities can be created within. When you are dealing with adversity, you aren’t fighting against anything around you, but rather, against yourself. You are fighting against your default response to suffer due to an adversity. Adversity forces us to change. Adversity forces us to adapt. Adversity forces us to confront ourselves.
“ If you are pained by any external thing, it is not this thing that disturbs you, but your own judgment about it. And it is in your power to wipe out this judgment now.”- Marcus Aurelius
Perception
Our perception of the thing that is happening to us will dictate how we respond. If we don’t believe that we can overcome the issue, we won’t. If we can’t see the issue as a blessing, then we will crumble underneath the pressure created from despair. If we can’t forgive ourselves or accept the situation, we will live in the past and make no strides forward. If we can’t see an opening or opportunity being created due to the obstacle, we won’t make the most out of it.
I felt a shift in how I respond to adversity in my personal life when I changed my perception of a situation. Whenever there was adversity in my life, I had a tendency to procrastinate and distract myself as a way to deal with the struggle. I would find myself indulged within a bad habit instead of making steps to deal with the adversity. Although it is extremely difficult to get out of that cycle, I felt much better when I began to see the obstacle as a growth opportunity rather than something which is inherently bad. I found more energy and strength to make progress in dealing with the obstacle and had more of a calm while approaching the problem. The ability to shift the perception of a situation is vital in order to get your best self. If you are capable of changing the situation from a negative to a positive, it will help greatly with your ability to deal with adverse times.
Look back on past challenges that you faced and think about those harsh situations. At the time, it may have been perceived as the most difficult thing in the world. Although, in retrospect, there is likely an appreciation for those times as they transformed you into the person that you are right now. So why can’t we have that perspective as the moment happens? Why can’t we take the moment as an opportunity to grow?
George Clooney is one of the most recognizable Hollywood actors of the twentieth century. Although at one point, he was a struggling actor looking for an opportunity to make it on set. He went to countless different auditions, hoping to get one role to kickstart his career. Although it never came. The complaints began to fill his mind. He would jump from couch to couch, filling his time with odd jobs to stay above water. He was clouded and tormented by the “tyranny of being picked”. He felt hopeless and at the misery of the casting directors who held all the power. Then, his mindset shifted. He began to see casting calls through the directors’ eyes. Casting is an obstacle for the directors. They are begging and pleading to find the right person to fill the role, so they don’t have to worry about it anymore. Now, he felt that he had the power to make his own destiny. To solve their problems.
When we change our perspective on a situation or issue, we allow ourselves to think of different solutions and ideas. We began to be open to different possibilities and be receptive to ideas that we may have been closed off to before. In the case of George Clooney, he freed himself of a self-deprecating mindset which kept him away from his greatest potential. The ability to adjust one’s thinking may be the singularly important skill to have.
Small Steps
There is a major misconception that we develop when adversity presents itself. For the most part, we believe that it is one event or one decision that completely shifts whether we overcome or succumb to a challenge. It is the false fallacy that if you defeat the villain, the village will be saved. In movies and TV shows, adversity is usually resolved in this way, as it’s more dramatic and interesting to the viewer. By contrast, reality differs. The villain may be gone, but the corruption which lies within the system still remains. It will need to be removed piece by piece. Step by step. Moment by moment.
Adversity, just like everything, can only be faced in small steps. If you want to lose 100 pounds, you have to lose one pound at a time. You can’t lose 5 or 20 in one moment. It’s one pound at a time. One calorie at a time. If you want to become a world-class athlete, you have to practice for one second, then one minute and then one hour. There are no shortcuts. Everything is earned one step at a time. And then maybe after 100 steps have been made, you’ll take one step that will appear as one giant step to everyone else. Publishing is the last step. Generating, writing, and editing are all the small steps that we take to get to that last step.
There is a reason why there is a saying: “Just take the first step”. It is because the first step is usually the step which allows us to take all the other small steps. When a company goes bankrupt, they start back to zero. When a company decides to go after it again, the hardest dollar to earn is usually the first because you have to take all the little steps of figuring out the progress.
The legendary UCLA basketball coach, John Wooden, began each Fall with his teams the same way: by teaching them how to tie their shoes. He went through each instruction of how to tie their shoes, as players donned with confusion as to why they were doing this in the first place. As the seasons went on, the players began to understand Mr. Wooden’s teachings. His words echoed within their minds: “It’s the little details that are vital. Little things make big things happen.” The same precision and intention brought to simply tying your shoes must be brought to every moment on the basketball court. The same intensity. The same level of detail. The same attitude. And the same mentality. Mr.Wooden went on to lead his group of players to 10 NCAA championships in 12 years. Many of his players went on to be all-time great players such as Keith Erickson, Jamaal Wilkes, Gail Goodrich, Bill Walton and most famously, Kareem Abdul Jabeur. He not only led them to professional success but also cultivated character within them.
As Steve Jobs once said, “You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future”. The small things that we do day to day won’t always seem to be useful or helpful to our future self, but we have no way of knowing that. So, having the belief that what you are doing is working is necessary to conquer and overcome adversities.
Diligence
Remaining diligent throughout the whole process is something that we must keep in mind as well. Showing up on the bad days or even the alright days should be appreciated and rewarded. The ability to be consistent is way more important than any possible skill that you can cultivate. If you can do something well month over month, there is a foundation that can be built on. Without consistency, nothing great can occur. No championship teams are built. No books are written. And no progress happens in the world.
“Then there are days when you just feel broken; your back hurts, your knee hurts…Maybe you’re a little sick or scared, but you still find a way to win. And those are the victories we can be most proud of because it proves that you can not just when you are at your best, especially when you aren’t.”- Roger Federer. Finding ways to make even small contributions to your end goals is a massive win, especially on days when you don’t feel like it. Because you are showing and telling yourself that you are the person that shows up, no matter what. It gives you proof that you are mentally resilient and capable of achieving great things.
A greater purpose
Belief in a greater purpose gives us the strength to continue to face different challenges and adversities. Without any focus on a higher purpose that isn’t necessarily quantifiable, there’s going to be so many occasions where your discipline wavers and you won’t have the drive to come back. For example, if you have been consistent in going to the gym and reach a point of burnout, you can potentially motivate yourself to go to the gym one more day with external goals such as six abs, but will you show up the next day? There is a big difference when you are fighting for your own safety versus the safety of something bigger than yourself. For example, the safety of your family will push you to extremes that you didn’t even conceive before. There will be an inability to make excuses, as the purpose that you are striving for completely outweighs the troubles or struggles that you are dealing with in the present moment.
Nevertheless, having a purpose for yourself is still a good start. It gives you some initial motivation to become your best. I just find that the purposes that ain’t entirely only for you are the strongest ones. Because by human nature, caring for someone else is much easier than caring for ourselves.
Oprah Winfrey had a calling. She picked up and listened. Then she put in the work. Her calling was to teach. As she explains, “Every chance that I got to play teacher, I took”. Teaching is what gave her life. Teaching is what drove her to great lengths. In her words, “ To be a teacher. And to be known for inspiring my students to be more than they thought they could be”. Her calling allowed her to be herself. Enjoy every day being of service to others and truthfully herself.
The biggest thing is making sure your purpose truly represents you. For the most part, a lot of things that we chase and pursue aren’t entirely our vision or our desires. They’ve been forced upon us by the public or our parents. So we never achieve true independence or true freedom whenever we partake in anything. Ensuring that your purpose is personally yourself makes sure that you keep a very important promise to yourself. You will always be truthful with yourself and will never sell yourself short. In addition, you will be happy because, whether you win or lose, at the very least, you are going your way.
At a Christmas party before the release of the canon of one of the greatest comedic shows of all time, David Letterman told Jerry Seinfeld one piece of advice. “Make sure you fail exactly the way you want”. This piece of advice gave Jerry Seinfeld the confidence to keep Larry David as his co-creator (the creator and main character of another one of the greatest comedic shows of all time, Curb Your Enthusiasm), and fully invest in his dream of the show. Seinfeld went on to have 172 episodes and is considered by many the greatest comedy television show of all time.
Without adversity, there is no greatness. There is no advancement or iconic figures. Adversity is what allows us to truly discover who we are and guides us to who we are meant to be. So please, the next time you are met with adversity- no matter big or small- take it as an opportunity to grow and be better for having gone through it.
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